Couples Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an attachment-based, experiential model. EFT is a clinically researched and proven process to help couples suffering from distress. It is based on a now well understood map of adult love and attachment. The foundation of a secure bond with our loved one is trusting that he/she will be Accessible, Responsive and Empathic to us. Distress in couple relationships originates in perceived threats to the security of the attachment. EFT has a 70-75% major turn-around from distress to recovery (and a 90% significant improvement rate) through working with a trained therapist over a course of 10-20 sessions, something no other approach to couple therapy has ever achieved. 

Upset couple in a kitchen; a woman stands with arms crossed looking away while a man sits on the counter looking down.

What to expect

We will begin with meeting all together as a couple to explore what is happening in your relationship that is keeping you in distress or disconnected. We will meet together at least once for an assessment of where you are in your relationship currently. We will then meet individually with both partners for one session each to establish a connection and learn more about your family backgrounds and histories. We will gather together again where our couples work will begin, and we will establish, collaborate, and clarify the main goals for our work together. 

In our work with couples, we help you to explore, strengthen, and repair your emotional bond while prioritizing safety for both partners. We help track and reflect repetitive negative interactional patterns moment by moment, while creating a foundation for safe expression of the vulnerability that drives the negative cycle. We all get stuck in these patterns because we dare to love and be loved, because we matter. This approach helps partners restructure the way they communicate, restores safety and connection, and fosters secure attachment through transformative conversations that solidify and deepen the emotional bond. In this work you will learn to better understand your own vulnerabilities, needs, and emotional patterns. You will practice expressing yourself more clearly and directly, develop the ability to take in comfort and affirmation from important people, and strengthen your sense of balance and resilience. This early self-awareness becomes the foundation for meaningful personal growth. 

Goals and Anticipated Outcomes 

You will learn to identify the cycle that has led to disconnection and isolation and learn to change the steps that are keeping you both from getting your attachment needs met. You will find the safety to be vulnerable, soften, and open to giving and receiving care from each other.

You will tap into your deeper needs and longings and learn to communicate them and respond to them in each other. By the end of therapy we hope to have reset your way of being with each other so that when difficult times come along, you can use them to grow and deepen your relationship.  You will be able to feel safe and secure in your relationship and to tune in to early signs of relapse/distance. Coming back to the “conversations” from time to time will help in this process. There is always the opportunity to return for a session every so often if extra support is needed. 

For more information about EFT, please visit: http://www.iceeft.com

A couple lying on autumn leaves looking affectionately at each other with noses touching, representing intimacy and connection.

Family Therapy

Are you in pain because of conflict or distance from your teen, your mother, father, sister, brother?  Do you miss the closeness you once had or long for a safe connection that has always seemed so out of reach?Are you stuck in the pain of old wounds and have given up hope of ever healing them and just withdrawn?  Do you find yourselves staying superficial when you are together and ending up feeling empty and unsatisfied.  Lost and confused about how it got like this?

Older father looking with concern at his adult son, who sits turned away with arms crossed, representing a family disagreement or communication breakdown.

Why are family relationships so important and why can they be so painful?

Family relationships are attachment relationships. We need a few precious others in our lives from cradle to grave. We depend on these relationships to deal with fear and stress and to feel that we belong.Human beings have an inherent, universal need for a safe haven and secure base where a parent is experienced as emotionally accessible and responsive so that this person can be depended upon. Caregivers (ie. parents) have a reciprocal universal need to be competently protective and nurturing so that their young can grow and go. Children, even adult children, need the “older and wiser” ones to turn toward.

Parenting Teens: What about those confusing, stormy adolescent years?

Human dependency creates a relationship that is a source of comfort and strength for parents and their teens. Being able to tune-in to our own emotions and being able to send clear emotional signals are two essential characteristics of a secure bond. This emotional tuning-in allows teens to send clear emotional signals about the care they are looking for (which often looks like I need you to care enough about me to give me some space but when I call, you will come) with their care-seeking intent (when you reject me I get scared and angry so that when you do call for support I can over react or freeze up). This ability to unblock the caregiving instinct and the reciprocal ability for teens to open up and receive this care are achieved as attachment emotions are accessed and shared.In this work you will learn to better understand your own vulnerabilities, needs, and emotional patterns. You will practice expressing yourself more clearly and directly, develop the ability to take in comfort and affirmation from important people, and strengthen your sense of balance and resilience. This early self-awareness becomes the foundation for meaningful personal growth. 

Top-down view of a family toasting drinks over a dinner table full of food, representing community and celebration.

Individual Therapy

EFIT is an attachment-based, experiential, humanistic model of therapy. It is anchored experientially in the body and emotions and is particularly effective for clients with a history of trauma (abuse or emotional neglect), emotional disorders (depression and anxiety). These challenges shape one’s process of their internal emotional world and interpersonal relationships. EFIT is also well-suited to support individuals through relationship challenges, grief and loss, life transitions, shame and self-esteem issues. EFIT helps you reconnect with your true self so you can move through life with greater emotional clarity, resilience, and a sense of freedom.

Silhouette of a person sitting alone on a bench with their head in their hands, overlooking the water, representing isolation, grief, or sadness.

What to expect

We help individuals navigate their inner worlds, bringing a deeper understanding into why we think, feel, and do what we do that blocks us from our relationship with ourselves and others. Together we will explore your experiences, gain understanding of the patterns you have been modelled and developed that were once adaptive and now impede more authentic connection to yourself and others. We will be alongside you to create a safe, supportive environment while we work to uncover and heal past wounds, grow in emotional balance, and live more fully inside yourself and with important others. 

Goals and Anticipated Outcomes 

In this work you will learn to better understand your own vulnerabilities, needs, and emotional patterns. You will practice expressing yourself more clearly and directly, develop the ability to take in comfort and affirmation from important people, and strengthen your sense of balance and resilience. This early self-awareness becomes the foundation for meaningful personal growth. 

By the end of treatment, you should feel more confident in navigating relationships, moments of conflict, and more able to identify and assert your genuine authenticity and needs. You should have a better understanding of yourself as a personalized template for continued growth, along with an increased capacity to manage everyday stress and major life events with greater steadiness and clarity. 

A woman sitting in a meditation pose on a yoga mat in a green park, representing mindfulness and self-care.

Hold Me Tight Retreats for Couples

A couple retreat is on the “Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” (Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson). It is a psycho-educational experience offered as an opportunity to focus in for parts of 2-3 days on your relationship through group presentation, individual couple guided dialogue, support from a therapist, video footage of couples working through the conversations, discussion. It is time away to give your relationship a gift.

Hold Me Tight presents a streamlined version of EFT. It walks the reader through seven conversations that capture the defining moments in a love relationship and instructs how to shape these moments to create a secure and lasting bond. Case histories and exercises in each conversation bring the lessons of EFT to life.  (Sue Johnson)

Ideally, you will devote this time away from the distractions and demands of everyday life. It is an educational process, not intensive therapy. If your relationship is in crisis or serious trouble, please discuss with me what your options might be. An intensive private one-couple  focused weekend of therapeutic work might be more appropriate, especially if scheduling is difficult and you need critical intervention and support immediately (or if one partner is ambivalent about continuing the relationship).

A smiling older couple sitting on a park bench together; the man has his arm around the woman, depicting long-term companionship.

Talking about our Relationship in a Group!?!

The individual couple times are entirely private. There is no sharing or reporting unless you choose to share insights in group sessions. There is something comforting to know that you are experiencing a process of learning along with others even though you may have little or no direct interaction with them!

What if I’m single and I just want to learn and prepare?

Good for you! You're taking proactive steps to build a strong foundation for future relationships. By engaging in self-reflection and learning about healthy relationship dynamics, you're equipping yourself with the tools needed to foster meaningful connections when the time is right.

What if we are already in couple therapy?

Whether your therapist uses Emotionally-Focused Therapy in his/her work, a retreat will support and augment the work you are already doing. If your therapist uses EFT, all the better! If you’ve already read Hold Me Tight, this will bring it to life and give you a focused opportunity as a couple to go through the Seven Conversations.  And the best part is the rest at the end of a day nourishing your relationship!

The Cost?

Scheduled Hold Me Tight Couple Retreats are in process.  Cost depends on the venue and whether accommodation and meals are included.  If you are interested in attending a Retreat, contact for details.

Register today to take the first step toward support, clarity, and meaningful change.

Hold Me Tight Retreats for Families

EFIT is an attachment-based, experiential, humanistic model of therapy. It is anchored experientially in the body and emotions and is particularly effective for clients with a history of trauma (abuse or emotional neglect), emotional disorders (depression and anxiety). These challenges shape one’s process of their internal emotional world and interpersonal relationships. EFIT is also well-suited to support individuals through relationship challenges, grief and loss, life transitions, shame and self-esteem issues. EFIT helps you reconnect with your true self so you can move through life with greater emotional clarity, resilience, and a sense of freedom.

A happy family of three smiling while looking at a document together, representing family bonding or positive planning.

What to expect

We help individuals navigate their inner worlds, bringing a deeper understanding into why we think, feel, and do what we do that blocks us from our relationship with ourselves and others. Together we will explore your experiences, gain understanding of the patterns you have been modelled and developed that were once adaptive and now impede more authentic connection to yourself and others. We will be alongside you to create a safe, supportive environment while we work to uncover and heal past wounds, grow in emotional balance, and live more fully inside yourself and with important others. 

Goals and Anticipated Outcomes 

In this work you will learn to better understand your own vulnerabilities, needs, and emotional patterns. You will practice expressing yourself more clearly and directly, develop the ability to take in comfort and affirmation from important people, and strengthen your sense of balance and resilience. This early self-awareness becomes the foundation for meaningful personal growth. 

By the end of treatment, you should feel more confident in navigating relationships, moments of conflict, and more able to identify and assert your genuine authenticity and needs. You should have a better understanding of yourself as a personalized template for continued growth, along with an increased capacity to manage everyday stress and major life events with greater steadiness and clarity. 

Register today to take the first step toward support, clarity, and meaningful change.

EFT Supervision

Mary is ICEEFT Certified as a Supervisor in EFCT (Couples), EFFT (Families) and EFIT (Individuals).  She leads three EFCT supervision groups and one EFIT supervision group. They go all year every 4 weeks, 3 hours each. Participants show recordings of their work and we create a safe space to learn this beautiful (and challenging) model.

Some supervisees are interested in pursuing Certification and some are focused on simply growing their skills and experience in EFT. Information about the Certification process is found here:  https://iceeft.com/eft-certification/

A circle of diverse hands resting on the floor, symbolizing unity, support groups, or community connection.

What to Here are some thoughts about EFT supervision

Welcome to my supervision practice. I am honoured you chose me to companion you in your learning process. My goal of our work together is to deeply support you in learning the model of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and to help you grow and develop as an EFT Therapist and/or EFT Supervisor.

The process of EFT supervision is isomorphic to the process of EFT therapy. As your EFT Supervisor, my relationship with you gives you opportunities to learn and live EFT, just as your relationship with your couples helps them grow their connection with themselves and each other. The relationship is also bilateral.Your relationship with me grows and changes me, and impacts my work and the people close to me. In the end, we are both trying to make the world a safer, more connected place.  

For more information about the days/dates and times of the four groups and individual work with me, please press Contact and let me know you want to connect.